You're completely useless in the revolution.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
