2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
