I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize