No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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