Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?