he thought i was a dude.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
