speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
