We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize