What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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