I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
