You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
