Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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