i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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