3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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