so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
