Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
