I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
