dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
