Don't you send me to vm
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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