I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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