No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
