GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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