can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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