How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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