Do you still have your period?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
