As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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