i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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