I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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