Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Drunk is a universal language darling
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
