I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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