I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
