Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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