Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
