I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
