there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We were destined to go to rehab together
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
