Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
