I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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