Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I deserve this hangover.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
