You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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