Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
