i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
