I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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