Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
