please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
