Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
