so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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