Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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