Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
