You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
