I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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