Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize