My nipple is on Facebook.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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