When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
