I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
