Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
