somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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