they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
