cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize