I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
