when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well most of my day revolves around power hour
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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