i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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