It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
