with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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