You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize