He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
FUCK WHALES
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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